Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
