Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
