you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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