Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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