maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
