is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
