I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
