I wish I only lived at night.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
