Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
