My friends, they love my intelligence
literally had 100 drinks last night.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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