If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
