We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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