just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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