I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think my moral compass just broke
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