I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
