ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
