Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
