the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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