Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
