Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
