Kiss
Puke
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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