i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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