Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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