I'm really into asian looking animals
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
