dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
