yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
