I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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