Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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