operation harelip BJ is a go
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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