You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
