This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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