He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
