on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
