I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
