Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
