You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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