OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
