At least make sure they are 18
Why
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
