Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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