Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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