she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We don't watch enough power rangers
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
