it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
