I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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