the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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