Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
