No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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