I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
