OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
