I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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