the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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