Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
