I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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