So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
dude. I can hear the air.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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