he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
